Re-reading BEES (Part 5)

Here's Part 5 of my series of posts about things I've discovered on re-listening to Diana Gabaldon's GO TELL THE BEES THAT I AM GONE, Book 9 in the OUTLANDER series. (The other posts in this series are here.)

*** SPOILER WARNING!! ***

If you haven't read GO TELL THE BEES THAT I AM GONE, or watched OUTLANDER Episode 716, "A Hundred Thousand Angels", there are MAJOR SPOILERS below! Read at your own risk!

I continue to be amazed at the things I've missed on previous readings of BEES. And some things strike me differently on this re-listen. Here are two very different scenes that I listened to over the weekend, illustrating what I mean.

BEES Chapter 23, "Trout-Fishing in America, Part Two"

This chapter gives us a wonderful glimpse of Jamie and Roger's relationship, but I honestly had forgotten all about it, except for a couple of small details. I completely overlooked it when I was putting together my in-depth post, The Evolution of Jamie and Roger's Relationship, a few weeks ago (for some reason, it didn't come up in my search for scenes with the two of them alone in BEES), but I see now that it definitely belongs in that post, too.

We can see very clearly in this chapter how much Roger and Jamie's relationship has matured. They're able to talk about the most difficult, painful subjects (Jamie killing the Lumpkin, which he calls "maybe the worst thing I've ever done", and Roger's reaction to killing Harley Boble), in a way that would have been unimaginable just a few years earlier.

I particularly like this exchange:

“But Claire, Brianna, and the children--and them--I canna shield them, should [the war] come close.” He nodded toward the distant sparks, and it was clear to Roger that by “them” he meant his tenants--his people.

[....]

“I’ll help you protect them,” he said to Jamie’s back. His voice was gruff.

“I ken that,” Jamie said, softly. There was a short pause, as though Jamie was waiting for him to speak further, and he realized that he should.

“With my body,” Roger said quietly, into the night. “And with my soul, if that should be necessary.”

He saw Jamie in brief silhouette, saw him draw a deep breath and his shoulders relax as he let it out.

(From GO TELL THE BEES THAT I AM GONE by Diana Gabaldon, chapter 23, "Trout-Fishing in America, Part Two". Copyright © 2021 by Diana Gabaldon. All rights reserved.)

Wow! Roger, like Jamie, doesn't take frivolous vows. He really means that.

Jamie's next words definitely seem like foreshadowing to me, in a way I did not notice before.

“The things that happen in a war--the things that ye do…they mark ye,” [Jamie] said quietly. “I dinna think bein’ a priest will spare you, is what I’m sayin’, and I’m sorry for it.”

They mark ye. And I’m sorry for it.

But he said nothing; only touched Jamie’s hand lightly where it lay upon his arm. Then Jamie took his hand away and they walked home together, silent.

(From GO TELL THE BEES THAT I AM GONE by Diana Gabaldon, chapter 23, "Trout-Fishing in America, Part Two". Copyright © 2021 by Diana Gabaldon. All rights reserved.)

On re-reading, I can't help picturing Roger much later in the book, at the Battle of Savannah, doing his best to comfort and tend the wounded and dying men on the battlefield.

“Help, help me!”

He saw the man then, on hands and knees, dragging one leg, and he splashed through the puddles to reach him. Not much blood, but the leg was clearly wounded; he got a shoulder under the man’s arm and got him on his feet, hustled him as fast as possible away from the redoubt, out of range...

The air shattered again and the earth seemed to tilt under him; he was lying on the ground with the man he’d been helping on top of him, the man’s jaw knocked away and hot blood and chunks of teeth soaking into his chest. Panicked, he struggled out from under the twitching body--Oh, God, oh, God, he was still alive--and then he was kneeling by the man, slipping in the mud, catching himself with a hand on the chest where he could feel the heart beating in time with the blood spurting, Oh, Jesus, help me!

He groped for words, frantic. It was all gone. All the comforting words he’d gleaned, all his stock-in-trade…

“You’re not alone,” he panted, pressing hard on the heaving chest, as though he could anchor the man to the earth he was dissolving into. “I’m here. I won’t leave you. It’s gonna be all right. You’re gonna be all right.” He kept repeating that, kept his hands pressing hard, and then, in the midst of the spouting carnage, felt the life leave the body.

Just ... gone.

(From GO TELL THE BEES THAT I AM GONE by Diana Gabaldon, chapter 92, "Like Water Spilled on the Ground, Which Cannot Be Gathered Up Again". Copyright © 2021 by Diana Gabaldon. All rights reserved.)

There's no doubt in my mind that that experience marked him, and I suspect we'll see that explored further in Book 10.

BEES Chapter 24, "Alarms By Night"

I was listening to BEES Chapter 24 yesterday, thinking that the chapter title, "Alarms By Night", sounded awfully familiar but not immediately recalling the context. Then I got to the point where Fanny's locket is mentioned for the first time, and of course I remembered the very controversial ending of Episode 716 ("A Hundred Thousand Angels"), in vivid detail.

"No, no, no!!" I said, out loud. "I don't want to hear this!!"

Because what I realized then is that it's not just the heartbreaking scene in Episode 207 ("Faith") with Claire singing to the baby that is tainted for me now. My reaction to the scene in BEES where Jamie and Claire talk about the locket with the name "Faith" on it has also changed since Episode 716 came out.

“So...um...I know this is nothing but pure fantasy, the sort of thing you think in the middle of the night when you can’t sleep…”

[Jamie] made a low noise, indicating that I should stop apologizing and get on with it. So I took a deep breath and did, whispering the words into his chest.

“Master Raymond was there. What if--if he found...Faith...and was able to...somehow bring her...back?”

(From GO TELL THE BEES THAT I AM GONE by Diana Gabaldon, chapter 24, "Alarms By Night". Copyright © 2021 by Diana Gabaldon. All rights reserved.)

I've always thought that scene in the book was very poignant, and I liked the way Jamie helped Claire to see that it really was "pure fantasy", that it couldn't have happened the way she's imagining. But now, after what we saw in Episode 716, it's hard for me to read or listen to that passage in the book without bringing back memories of the ending of that episode, and the huge controversy and flood of speculation that ensued. Not to mention my own very negative reaction to it!

Sigh. I think I'm going to have to brainwash myself, somehow, into forgetting that whole plot twist in the show, pretending as hard as I can that those last two minutes of the episode NEVER EXISTED. It's not enough (for me) to say, "That was a show thing, it doesn't affect the books." Because I definitely did have a strong reaction to it yesterday, listening to the original scene in the book.

The books are the books. The show is the show. I know that, and I'm trying to keep them separate as much as I can. Remembering what Diana Gabaldon said in January, in reaction to the controversy, definitely helps:

No, Faith isn’t/wasn’t alive in the Outlander novels, she’s not going to be, and neither Claire nor Jamie will ever think so."

I'm sure that with enough repetition, Diana's version of events will burn itself into my brain to the point where I won't think about the show's version anymore. I have already decided that I won't watch the last two minutes of that episode, ever again. But for BEES, I think I'm going to try listening to the scene in Chapter 24 a few more times before I move on to the rest of the book, to make sure the details of the book version are firmly fixed in my memory. Call it "desensitization", if you will. <g> It's the only way I can think of to get the TV version out of my head, so I can enjoy this scene as Diana Gabaldon intended it.

I'll just have to keep reminding myself of Jamie's words, in the book:

“Even if everything ye’ve made yourself think was somehow true--and it’s not, Sassenach; ye ken it’s not--but if it were somehow true, it wouldna make any difference. The woman in Frances’s locket is dead now, and so is our Faith.”

His words touched the raw place in my heart, and I nodded, tears welling.

“I know,” I whispered.

“I know, too,” he whispered, and held me while I wept.

(From GO TELL THE BEES THAT I AM GONE by Diana Gabaldon, chapter 24, "Alarms By Night". Copyright © 2021 by Diana Gabaldon. All rights reserved.)

Look here for the other posts in this series. I'll post more of my thoughts on re-reading BEES in the coming weeks. Stay tuned!