The resilience of Claire Fraser

Please join OUTLANDER fans worldwide in wishing a very happy 105th birthday (believe it or not!) to our favorite time-traveling Sassenach, Claire Elizabeth Beauchamp Randall Fraser! She was born on October 20, 1918.

In honor of Claire's birthday, here's a brand new quote collection! This one is a bit different from the ones I've done in the past, because I decided to focus on a single aspect of her character.

I have been thinking a lot about resilience in recent days, and how people recover from traumatic events. The resilience of Diana Gabaldon's characters is one of the things I admire most about them. The major characters in these books -- all of them -- are adept at "rolling with the punches", dealing with whatever life throws at them. Even in the face of traumatic and life-altering events, they never give up. Eventually, with time, with the help of friends and loved ones, they pull themselves together and move on with their lives.

This is one of the qualities I like best about Claire. In this post, I'll explore some of the many ways in which she has demonstrated that resilience over the course of her life. I hope you enjoy it!

* * * SPOILER WARNING * * *

If you haven't read all of Diana Gabaldon's OUTLANDER books, you may find SPOILERS below! Read at your own risk.

1) Claire learned resilience at a very young age. Her parents were killed in a car crash when she was only five years old.

I knew what it was now, that ancient distress. It was that phrase overheard, the words by chance the same that a small girl had once heard spoken, whispered in the next room by the strangers who had come to say her mother would not be coming back, that she had died. An accident; a crash; fire. Burnt to bones, the voice had said, filled with the awe of it. Burnt to bones, and the desolation of a daughter, forever abandoned.

(From A BREATH OF SNOW AND ASHES by Diana Gabaldon, chapter 53, "The Frenchman's Gold". Copyright © 2005 by Diana Gabaldon. All rights reserved.)

Young children are amazingly adaptable, but still, that tragedy must have shattered her whole world! Claire was lucky that her Uncle Lamb took her in. She had an unusual upbringing, traveling the world with him, but her memories of that period of her life are generally happy ones.



As Claire recalls in OUTLANDER:

[Uncle Lamb was] my family, and all I knew of love as a child. A man who had never spoken love to me, who had never needed to, for I knew he loved me, as surely as I knew I lived. For where all love is, the speaking is unnecessary. It is all. It is undying. And it is enough.

(From OUTLANDER by Diana Gabaldon, chapter 38, "The Abbey". Copyright © 1991 by Diana Gabaldon. All rights reserved.)

No doubt the certain knowledge that she was loved helped young Claire recover from that early trauma, establishing a pattern that would continue all her life.



2) When Claire first goes through the stones, she recovers pretty quickly from the shock of finding herself in the 18th century. Part of this can be attributed to her experience as a combat nurse during WWII, but not all of it, in my opinion at least. I like this next quote because it illustrates her mental state, on that first morning at Castle Leoch. She's frightened, disoriented, and badly shaken by the realization that she's really in 1743, but she's thinking very fast and very clearly, and she manages to get herself under control by the time Colum begins questioning her.

Quite beyond ordinary scruples by this time, I shamelessly rifled the olivewood desk, keeping an ear out for returning footsteps.

I found what I supposed I had been looking for in the central drawer. A half-finished letter, written in a flowing hand rendered no more legible by the eccentric spelling and total lack of punctuation. The paper was fresh and clean, and the ink crisply black. Legible or not, the date at the top of the page sprang out at me as though written in letters of fire: 20 April, 1743.

When he returned a few moments later, Colum found his guest seated by the casement windows, hands clasped decorously in her lap. Seated, because my legs would no longer hold me up. Hands clasped, to hide the trembling that had made it difficult for me to stuff the letter back into its resting place.

(From OUTLANDER by Diana Gabaldon, chapter 5, "The MacKenzie". Copyright © 1991 by Diana Gabaldon. All rights reserved.)

Except for that first night at Castle Leoch, where she weeps in Jamie's arms, we don't really see Claire feeling sorry for herself in those early days, or spending a lot of time thinking about how much she misses her life in the 20th century. Within a few days, she's established a sort of routine for herself at Castle Leoch. I don't know about the rest of you, but I don't think I would have adjusted that quickly if I somehow ended up in the 18th century!



3) There are times when Claire's own inner resilience is not enough. Claire has always depended on Jamie when she's going through bad times. In times of crisis, he gives her emotional support, reassurance, the knowledge that whatever she's going through, she needn't do it alone. And in the aftermath of the miscarriage in DRAGONFLY IN AMBER, it's Jamie -- who feels the loss of Faith as deeply as she does -- who pulls her out of her grief and anger and depression, forcing her to face those emotions head-on, no matter how painful they might be.

“Claire,” he whispered. “Please. Let me give ye comfort.”

“Comfort?” I said. “And how will you do that? Can you give me back my child?”

He sank to his knees before me, but I kept my head down, staring into my upturned hands, laid empty on my lap. I felt his movement as he reached to touch me, hesitated, drew back, reached again.

“No,” he said, his voice scarcely audible. “No, I canna do that. But...with the grace of God...I might give ye another?”

His hand hovered over mine, close enough that I felt the warmth of his skin. I felt other things as well: the grief that he held tight under rein, the anger and the fear that choked him, and the courage that made him speak in spite of it. I gathered my own courage around me, a flimsy substitute for the thick gray shroud. Then I took his hand and lifted my head, and looked full into the face of the sun.

(From DRAGONFLY IN AMBER by Diana Gabaldon, chapter 28, "The Coming of the Light". Copyright © 1992 by Diana Gabaldon. All rights reserved.)

Resilience doesn't mean you have to bounce back all by yourself, after all. Jamie's love for Claire has helped her through many crises over the years.



4) When Claire returns to the 20th century after Culloden, pregnant with Jamie's child, we see her at one of the lowest points of her whole life.

I couldn’t think, and tried not to feel. The return was much more terrifying than my venture into the past had been, for there, I had been shrouded by a protective layer of doubt and disbelief about where I was and what was happening, and had lived in constant hope of escape. Now I knew only too well where I was, and I knew that there was no escape. Jamie was dead.

(From VOYAGER by Diana Gabaldon, chapter 3, "Frank and Full Disclosure". Copyright © 1994 by Diana Gabaldon. All rights reserved.)

I think for those first months after she came back, she wasn't really living, just existing, one day at a time, keeping herself going only for the sake of her unborn child. So how do you pull yourself out of a depression like that, if mental health counseling is out of the question? In the end, I think it was Brianna's birth, focusing on someone else's needs, that began the process of recovery. Her decision to go to med school also helped tremendously, allowing her, for the first time in years, to be the healer she was meant to be.

I love this quote from DRUMS, in the scene where Jamie and Claire discover the site of Fraser's Ridge, because it shows how far Claire has come from those days.

“[While] ye were there--in your own time--I was dead, no?”

I nodded, wordless. Even now, I could look back and see the abyss of despair into which that parting had dropped me, and from which I had climbed, one painful inch at a time.

Now I stood with him again upon the summit of life, and could not contemplate descent.

(From DRUMS OF AUTUMN by Diana Gabaldon, chapter 16, "The First Law of Thermodynamics". Copyright © 1997 by Diana Gabaldon. All rights reserved.)

5) My favorite example of Claire's resilience in the whole series is her reaction after the abduction and rape in ABOSAA. (This is also, not coincidentally, one of my all-time favorite Claire quotes.)

"I have lived through a fucking world war,” I said, my voice low and venomous. “I have lost a child. I have lost two husbands. I have starved with an army, been beaten and wounded, been patronized, betrayed, imprisoned, and attacked. And I have fucking survived!” My voice was rising, but I was helpless to stop it. “And now should I be shattered because some wretched, pathetic excuses for men stuck their nasty little appendages between my legs and wiggled them?!” I stood up, seized the edge of the washstand and heaved it over, sending everything flying with a crash--basin, ewer, and lighted candlestick, which promptly went out.

“Well, I won’t,” I said quite calmly.

(From A BREATH OF SNOW AND ASHES by Diana Gabaldon, chapter 29, "Perfectly Fine". Copyright © 2005 by Diana Gabaldon. All rights reserved.)

If that's not resilience, I don't know what is! Despite everything she's been through, she's determined not to be shattered by it.

I also like this conversation between Claire and Young Ian, on the morning after she returned home.

[Ian] took me by the shoulders and turned me into the sunlight, pursing his lips a little as he inspected me at close range. I blinked up at him, imagining what I must look like. I hadn’t had the nerve to look into a mirror yet, but I knew the bruising must be going from blacks and reds to a colorful assortment of blues, greens, and yellows. Add in assorted knobbly swellings, flecks of crusty black for the split lip and the scabby bits, and I was undoubtedly quite the picture of health.

Ian’s soft hazel eyes peered intently into my face with no apparent surprise or distress, though. At last he let go, and patted my shoulder gently.

“Ye’ll do, Auntie,” he said. “It’s still you, isn’t it?”

“Yes,” I said. And with no warning at all, tears welled up and overflowed. I knew exactly what he’d meant, and why he’d said it--and it was true.

I felt as though my center had turned unexpectedly to liquid and was gushing out, not from grief, but from relief. I was still me. Fragile, battered, sore, and wary--but myself. Only when I recognized that, did I realize how much I had feared that I might not be--that I might emerge from shock and find myself irrevocably altered, some vital part forever missing.

(From A BREATH OF SNOW AND ASHES by Diana Gabaldon, chapter 30, "The Captive". Copyright © 2005 by Diana Gabaldon. All rights reserved.)

It will take time for the physical and psychological wounds to heal, but the core of her personality remains intact, and that's reassuring.

6) How exactly do you begin to recover, when something horrible and/or traumatic happens? Claire has been through this often enough to be able to give some advice to Young Ian, after he accidentally kills Mrs. Bug.

“And then, he said, ye live with it,” he said softly.

He rubbed a hand across his face.

“But I dinna think I can.” It was a simple statement of fact, and scared me badly. I had no more tears, but felt as though I looked into a black, bottomless hole--and couldn’t look away.

I drew a deep breath, trying to think of something to say, then pulled a handkerchief from my pocket and gave it to him.

“Are you breathing, Ian?”

His mouth twitched a little.

“Aye, I think so.”

“That’s all you have to do, for now.”

(From AN ECHO IN THE BONE by Diana Gabaldon, chapter 3, "Life for Life". Copyright © 2009 by Diana Gabaldon. All rights reserved.)

I think this is excellent advice for anyone who's been through a traumatic experience. Just keep breathing. Take things one day at a time, one hour at a time if you have to.

7) In the depths of grief and depression, when you feel as though your whole world has come apart, how do you keep yourself from just giving up? In AN ECHO IN THE BONE, we see Claire clawing her way back from the brink of suicide in the wake of Jamie's supposed "death", by thinking of Bree and the others who still need her.

I let my hand fall back, exposing my wrist, and placed the tip of the knife midway up my forearm. I’d seen many unsuccessful suicides, those who slashed their wrists from side to side, the wounds small mouths that cried for help. I’d seen those who meant it. The proper way was to slit the veins lengthwise, deep, sure cuts that would drain me of blood in minutes, assure unconsciousness in seconds. The mark was still visible on the mound at the base of my thumb. A faint white “J,” the mark he’d left on me on the eve of Culloden, when we first faced the stark knowledge of death and separation.

I traced the thin white line with the tip of the knife and felt the seductive whisper of metal on my skin. I’d wanted to die with him then, and he had sent me on with a firm hand. I carried his child; I could not die.

I carried her no longer--but she was still there. Perhaps reachable. I sat motionless for what seemed a long time, then sighed and put the knife back on the table carefully.

Perhaps it was the habit of years, a bent of mind that held life sacred for its own sake, or a superstitious awe of extinguishing a spark kindled by a hand not my own. Perhaps it was obligation. There were those who needed me--or at least to whom I could be useful.

(From AN ECHO IN THE BONE by Diana Gabaldon, chapter 94, "The Paths of Death". Copyright © 2009 by Diana Gabaldon. All rights reserved.)

8) Finally, since we're talking about resilience, I think it's appropriate to end on a hopeful note. Here's Claire, returning home to Fraser's Ridge for the first time in two years. (The image above shows Grandfather Mountain, NC, near where Fraser's Ridge is supposed to be located.)

[As] we reached the summit of the final pass, I thought I might explode from simple joy at the scent of the late-spring woods, an intoxicating mix of pine and balsam fir, oaks mingling the spice of fresh green leaves with the must of the winter’s fallen acorns, and the nutty sweetness of chestnut mast under a layer of wet dead leaves, so thick that it made the air seem buoyant, bearing me up. I couldn’t get enough of it into my lungs.

[....]

I realized at that moment that I had been resuming my identity as we walked, that step by step as we climbed the mountain, smelling its scents and harvesting its plenty, I had sloughed off a few layers of the recent past and become again what I had last been in this place. I had come back.

(From WRITTEN IN MY OWN HEART'S BLOOD by Diana Gabaldon, chapter 137, "In the Wilderness a Lodging Place". Copyright © 2014 by Diana Gabaldon. All rights reserved.)

Her joy at being back is just infectious, and I think it's a sign that she has (more or less) recovered from the traumatic events of recent years.

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I hope you enjoyed this collection. Please leave a comment here or on my Outlandish Observations Facebook page and let me know what you think.

Happy Birthday, Claire!! Many thanks to Diana Gabaldon for creating such an amazing character, and to Caitriona Balfe for bringing her to life on TV.